stories

In The Land Of Nopes, The Nopiest Nope Outweighs The Law

CONTENT WARNING: Spider

My uncle used to tell the story of the time my grandfather was bitten by a Sydney funnel-web spider — highly venomous — before the antivenom was in use.

My grandfather’s coworkers bandaged his hand, and three of them bundled into a car to get him to a hospital in Sydney. (They were in Lithgow, a couple of hours away.)

Partway through the journey, they got pulled over by a cop for speeding. The cop waltzed up to the passenger door, thinking he had just caught some guys hooning around off work. The cop tapped on the window.

Cop: “Do you know what speed you were going?”

The passenger in the front responded by holding up a jar with the spider inside and pointing to my grandfather’s bandaged hand. The cop’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates.

Cop: “Right. Uh… Follow me.”

The cop sprinted back to his car, slammed on his lights and sirens, and escorted them into Sydney in about half the time it would normally take.

It turned out to be a dry bite (no venom), but my grandfather had to stay at the hospital for a time to monitor for any symptoms.